Levi's birth- a story in pictures

Eating food from steak and shake :)

into the tub, labor is easy

contractions not too bad

a little more intense, but still smiling

the tub!

Alan looks frustrated here, and if you could see my face, I would look that way too. We wanted the belt off. No one was listening to us. We were not consenting to this. We felt so powerless.

Alan being my rock.

Finally I took charge, began walking around the room, and labor really picked up! 

at the end of a contraction, Alan holding me

squatting low and hanging on Alan during an intense contraction

into the tub, it's getting really intense!

probably around 9cm

I have to push!

Caleb came in to watch his brother be born

It just felt right to be in this position, more laying down, so I went with it

Caleb watching

he's here!

"That's my baby!!!"

so beautiful

mama and daddy

Caleb so concerned as Levi was crying

pure joy, no pain, no weariness, just pure joy

daddy holding his newborn son as I got out of the tub

Levi James Chapple- the birth story

So it's been a year and I'm finally posting this! :) I wrote it a month or so after he was born, but never posted it. I know there's so many details that are still in my head that I didn't write about, but I could write a book for my children's birth stories :)
Will post pics soon.

Thanks for reading!

I had started feeling some contractions around 10:00 on Saturday night. They weren't bad but were pretty consistent. But I had had these types of contractions for days, even weeks, and they always went away after I fell asleep. So I laid down and closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep. I was a bit excited as my due date was the next day. I just had a feeling that He would be born the next day. But I knew I needed to sleep, so I did. Around 3 am I woke up and was still feeling some contractions. This did not aid in diminishing my excitement as usually my contractions would go away. I wanted so desperately to wake up Alan and tell him all about it. But I knew if today was the day, he would need as much sleep as he could get. So I rolled over and tried to fall back asleep. I dosed on and off and finally got up around 5. I was still contracting every few minutes. They were close together, around every 3 minutes or less, but not too strong. I decided to get up and take a shower to see if I got up if they would go away. But, the contractions just got stronger. When I got out of the shower, I woke Alan up and let him know today was the day!

We were so excited! The house was so quiet as Caleb hadn't gotten up yet. I did my hair and make-up and got my comfy clothes on-- continuing to have contractions the whole time. We waited till around 6:30 and decided to call Alan’s mom and let her know today is the day. She was going to get ready and then get on the road. We called my mom too and let her know what was going on. Finally, we called Hannah, our doula, and told her it was today! It was so surreal. The fact that it was my due date, and mother’s day, and a Sunday (the same day of the week Caleb was born). Everything felt right and I was just so happy that things were going as I had hoped.

My contractions were getting stronger-- so much so that I would have to stop and really concentrate and relax to get through them. They were just a few minutes apart and things seemed to be progressing well. So we called Hannah again and had her come over.

The moment Hannah walked in the door, everything stopped. I stopped contracting completely. We walked around and talked and I tried to just go about my normal routine. We love Hannah but she isn't family and isn't a part of the normalness at our house. It was as if the intrusion scared labor away. I walked around Caleb’s room alone with the lights low and would feel the contractions come back a bit and start to grow. But then they would go away quickly. I was frustrated as I really wanted baby to come on mother’s day. IT would be so special.

We decided after chatting on the bed and walking around the house, that it would be best if we took advantage of this “delay” in things and go enjoy ourselves. Marla got there about this time (around 10:00) and she decided to take Caleb to a park to go play and let Alan and I have some time alone. I was hungry so we decided to go get breakfast. We got in the car and the contractions began again. I thought they would go away as they had before, especially since we were now out in daylight and not in the illusion of night that our bedroom gave us. Having contractions in a car is no fun. There is no way to change your position to what feels good and it’s very difficult to relax.

We arrived at Cracker Barrel and went in and put our name on the list. It was going to be a 50 min wait but I was happy to look around the store. But, I began contracting even more. The idea of all those people staring at me while I was holding on Alan to get through the contraction was making me nervous. I just wanted to get away from the crowd. So we left and drove through Steak and Shake and got some biscuits and gravy and sweet tea.  It was just before 11 at this point.

We went home and ate our breakfast and the contractions just kept on coming. We waited for about 30 minutes and decided it was time to go to the hospital. I didn't want to do most of my labor at home as I wanted a water birth and wanted to utilize the tub during labor to help me relax. I continued to contract on the way to the hospital, but as we walked in, the contractions went away again. This was frustrating as they had been every couple minutes. I felt like the staff at the triage in the ER was rolling their eyes as if to say “really? You think you need to be here? They are so going to send you home….” But they took me upstairs and brought me in a room.

Right away, things were not as I wanted. They had me change into a gown. I had requested to wear my own clothes, but they said, “just put this on for now, you can change later”. So I did and was waiting to see what would happen next. They started getting out the EFM belt and I told them I did not want any EFM. They said it was standard and I had to have it. Again, I refused and said no, I had talked with my provider and only want monitoring via the dopplar. They said, no I had to have this or else they wouldn't know how baby was doing. Again, I explained I didn't want this, that it is not best practice, and they said they would go get another nurse. That nurse was VERY rude to us. She basically talked to me like a child-- saying sit down and put this on and let us get what we need. I was getting very upset at this point and was crying. I didn't know what to do. I had stood up, said what I wanted, said no about 10 times, but no one would listen to me. At this point I couldn't fight anymore. I was dealing with contractions and beginning to hyperventilate. So I laid there, crying, and they put on the belt and began to monitor.

I really believe if this hadn't happened, that my labor would have gone completely different. So I stayed there and was monitored and was checked (I was 5 cm at this point) and was given the go ahead to get in the tub. The water was pretty warm when I got in. I had to add a lot of cold water to even feel comfortable-- but quickly was getting hot. This was another mistake that could have been avoided by a staff who knew that a hot mama means a higher heart rate for baby. The nurse came in periodically with the dopplar to get a measurement. She had no idea what she was doing. Hannah had to re-position the probe MANY times as the nurse wasn't picking up the heart. It was clear the staff was not comfortable using the dopplar. I really liked being in the tub, the contractions were about 5 min apart and were getting stronger, but not unbearable by any means. I was still talking and laughing between contractions, and didn't need to keep my concentration too much as it was easy to relax as soon as I began feeling the contraction. I was in the tub for probably an hour and a half, maybe a bit more, and things weren't really progressing. So I got out and was going to walk around.

This is when things really didn't follow what I wanted. They wanted to get my hep lock in and since I was going to be sitting for them to do that anyway, they said they wanted to put on the EFM. I had said no, I had expressed this in my birth plan, I had talked to my midwife about it, but still they demanded it be done. We asked for the portable one and they said it was out of batteries. We asked for batteries. No one seemed to care what I wanted and just ignored me. It took a long time to get the hep lock started. They had to pull staff from another area as no one could find a vein to use. Finally they got it. But they said baby’s heart rate was up so I couldn't get up and walk around because they had to monitor me. “Just a 15 min strip is all we need” they kept saying. I was having a hard time relaxing during the contractions being flat on my back in bed. I hated feeling trapped and didn't know what to do. We had planned and planned so I wouldn't feel like this. I was so frustrated that no one was listening to me. I was able to get onto a birthing ball right by the bed as the cords reached that far. This helped things progress some. Labor was very intense at this point and I was using  Alan a lot. I would lean forward on him when the contraction came and slide forward on the ball. Hannah did some great counter pressure on my lower back. This went on for a while, I’m not sure how long. I remember it was after 5 and I was getting frustrated. They had told me for hours “just 15 more minutes” but I was still hooked up to that stupid machine. I kept asking when I could take it off and they finally brought the midwife in. She checked me and I was at 7 cm. (not a lot of progress for 5 hours) She explained that I didn't have to have it on, but that they were concerned. Baby’s heart rate was high and they needed to monitor it. They were worried about late decels. I asked if they had seen any. They said no. So I told them to take the monitor off. I told them they could reassess in half an hour, and I told everyone to get out of my room.

It was around 5:30- maybe a bit later than that- and I began to walk around the room. Labor picked up like nobody’s business! I was contracting every minute to minute and a half. Contractions were long and hard. I would walk and then grab Alan’s arms and just hang, squatting low. He held me and supported me. It was such a special time. My mom called the nurses in after just a few minutes and said we needed to get the tub ready as I was progressing quickly. After around 15-20 minutes of hard hard labor, I stepped into the tub and had a few more contractions. I stayed in a squatting position for those few contractions and during one felt a switch in everything. Suddenly I had to push and couldn't do anything but push. I yelled out “I have to push!” and things started happening quickly. They called in Ellen- the midwife- and were getting everything ready. I was really confused-- with Caleb, I pushed for 2 ½ hours before he was born. I wasn't sure what the hurry was about. I moved around in the tub and ended up laying pretty flat in the tub with my legs in a frog like position. I loved feeling the support all around me from the water and the emotional support all around me. Alan was right there, holding me on my back and side. I felt a “pop” and it was my water breaking. I called out “get the baby”-- meaning Caleb-- as I wanted him to be there. I saw Marla come through the door with him. He went with my mom and was so concerned about me and later about the baby. I loved that he was there to experience the birth. After that, all I saw and all I heard was Ellen. I focused on what she was telling me to do. I pushed and pushed right along with the contractions. This time I felt amazing, so in tune with what my body was doing. I gave a great push and then felt the contraction going away and needed a breath so stopped pushing. I heard Ellen say “You need to push Kim” and I was thinking “I don’t have to push. I’ll push when I’m ready”. Then she said “his head is out, you have to push!” I had no idea and pushed him out the rest of the way. I was completely stunned. It was 6:21 and I had a baby laying on my tummy. I looked up in surprise and “that’s my baby!” came out of my mouth.      

Caleb is 4 months old today!

So, I just realized this was in my drafts box, I never finished it and never posted it. Oh well. He's what I started!

I can't believe it, as I say every month, that my baby is already 4 months old! He defineitely looks like a baby now and not so much like a newborn. The one thing he still does very seldom is when he is REALLY sleepy, is bring his feet up to his belly and curl up when you pick him up. I know that won't last too much longer so I'm soaking it all in.

Here's some of the things Caleb really likes right now:

His changing pad- he still really likes to lay on it and almost always can calm him down and make him happy if you lay him on it.

His playmat- he loves to squirm around on it, grab at his toys, roll to toys on the mat, and watch the lights. It's a great thing for mom too as it will keep his attention for at least a little while. But he likes it best when I play with him too.

Standing- Caleb LOVES to stand and wants you to let him stand all the time. He looks so cute while he's standing too!!! He really is so strong and can pull himself up with us just holding his hands. He just needs a little support but can stand for a while without tipping over :)

His steering wheel toy- he  has a heart after his daddy and loves his steering wheel toy. He'll spin and spin that thing till it looks like it will spin right off!

Mommy massages- if the lotion is warm enough, he really likes getting all lathered up before bed. But if it's chilly, he'd rather not.

His thumb and index finger- he goes to town on those two guys! You will always find him with them in his mouth, grabbing his tongue, rubbing his gums... he loves them.

My Fun little boy

Caleb is SO much fun at this age. He started walking right before his birthday and it is so fun seeing his little self walking all around the house. He just babbles away, usually in his own language, but every now and then he'll throw in a word I recognize. Sometimes, he knows it (like ball, sock or apple), sometimes it's a coincidental noise (like the occasional swear word (and he didn't learn it from us).
Caleb walks around with his blanky, especially when he's tired. It's so very sweet-- he looks just like the little boy from Charlie Brown, but way smaller. He sometimes will just bend over and rest his head on the floor, almost doing a yoga pose. He'll snuggle and even fall asleep on the floor watching the fake fireplace on netflix.
Caleb's hugs are priceless. He bows his head onto whatever he's hugging. He hugs, mama, daddy, the dog, the baby in mama's tummy, the couch, the cup, he hugs everything. And we always go "awwww, nice hugging", which makes him do it again.
He likes to give kisses too. They still are the mouth open chomp your cheek off kisses and I love them!
Caleb loves to play his drums, but will use his drumsticks to play on just about anything. We just have to make sure he doesn't play on mama or the dog. He likes to play cars and likes to make the "vroom" noises. He likes to clean and likes using his little broom to sweep. Any time he gets a rag he either wipes off himself or will start to dust/wipe off something in the house. (That's my boy!) He loves his teddy, and sometimes carries him around. Teddy is about 1/2 his size and they are so cute together.
Caleb loves to dance and dances to ny beat or music or anything! He just loves music!!!
Unless he's sick or super tired, we can get him to laugh at any time. He is ticklish and also laughs at some pretty silly things (like shaking his blanket in the air etc). There is nothing better than baby laughs!
I just have so much fun with my little boy. We have been going to the park more and he likes going down the slide with mama. He also likes playing in the sand. We'll have to get a sandbox someday.
There's so much to say. Everyday is something new. Something new he's learning or trying. A new word, a new expression. A new food, a new habbit. And everyday is that much better than the last day.

Looking back

Ok, So I haven't posted in FOREVER, but I don't have time to post. With working 26 hours a week, being at home with Caleb alone for another 30-40 hours a week trying to get housework done and play with him, and then wanting to spend time as a family the rest of the time, blogging is not on my top list of priorities. But as I come closer and closer to Caleb's one year birthday, I have been thinking a lot about the past year, about how he came into the world, what I liked, what I would have changed.

I realized that Alan and I were as prepared as we could have been for Caleb's birth. We trained, I did the exercises, I read as much as I could, I talked to other moms, we were ready. But I still did not have the birth I wanted, not 100%, because of things that were "out of our control".

We were dealing with a nursing staff who was kind and considerate, but not experienced in unmedicated, no intervention births. We should have had a doula, not so much to help me with contractions and relaxing, but to be an experienced person in the room when it came to natural birth. We will have one next time around. We know better now.

We had a great birthplan. Very detailed but concise. We got the ok for pretty much everything we wanted, but in the end, we had a lot of things happen that took away from our experience.
To start, I had to have a Hep lock. I understand their reasoning, kind of. But I guess I figure that these are medical professionals and if they can't place an IV quickly in an emergency, what kind of nurses are they. So next time, no hep lock for me.

We had electronic monitoring more than we wanted. I asked for no electronic monitoring but they seemed to weasel around this by saying it's just real quick to start out then they'll take it right off. But I had to keep getting out of the tub to put it back on to see how baby was doing. Next time, I don't want to have to put the whole belt on.

When it was time to push, I had no support. Alan and I didn't know what we were doing. We had practiced the positions, but I was having a hard time knowing how to squat or sit squat and keep my balance and push . I felt it completely in my quads and kept falling over. Instead of helping me, they just said why don't I try a more traditional method. When you've just gone through transition, you say yes to anything. I ended up more on my back than I wanted, and ended up pushing for over 2 hours.

When Caleb was finally born, I was all covered up, I had a gown on, a sheet etc, and they didn't open it up for skin to skin contact. I didn't get that moment of tears and bonding with my baby. I only remember being tired (It was 4:30 in the morning and I was running on 3 hours of sleep from the night before, but still.) I feel like that moment should and could have been better. I had asked to nurse Caleb instead of getting pitocin to deliver the placenta. They got around this one by saying I would hemorrhage if I didn't get the dose of pitocin. I feel like this made me feel even worse as far as bonding with Caleb goes. I don't remember the first time I tried to nurse. I had no support from the staff-- it was not a priority for them. Now, Caleb was tongue tied, and I know this complicated things. But I know it could have been better.

I say all this because I feel we were a prepared couple. We knew what we wanted. We knew what was best for our baby. And still, even with that conviction and being so clear with everything, we still didn't get the experience we wanted. Yes Caleb was born bright eyed and alert. But it's not just about that. It's about the bonding as a mom and baby and as a family that can happen so beautifully with an unmedicated birth, and we lost out on that.

I recently attended a rally for improving birth. It really does have to start with our staff in the hospital. They have to be trained. They have to be open. They have to catch the vision of this. If they aren't on board, it doesn't matter what the mothers want, how much we train, how much we know. This shouldn't be a battle. It should be the norm.

~To my beautiful baby Caleb. I will always remember those black eyes so bright as I looked at them for the first time. You were and are and will always be the love of my heart, the joy of my life. 

Going Green: laundry soap

I've wanted to make our own laundry soap for a while now but have been searching and searching for a recipe that is cloth diaper friendly. Still no luck but I have finally decided to just go for it for the rest of our laundry. I did a lot of "research" and found that most people had no problems with making powder detergent. Some people had problems making liquid detergent-- the consistency wasn't always the same and techniques to make it seemed kinda difficult. Here's the recipe I used:

2 cups 20 Mule Team Borax
2 cups Arm and Hammer Super Washing Soda (not baking soda)
1 bar grated Fels-Naptha soap

Just mix it all up! Check online for other variety's of this recipe and for other techniques on grating the bar of soap. You can use 1 tbsp per load but I'll probably always use 2. (unless I see that 1 does the trick)

You can find the Borax and Fels-Naptha in the laundry isle at Wal-Mart. I found the Washing Soda at County Market in Champaign, IL but you should be able to find it at most grocery stores.

$3.38 for the Borax (not even close to using the whole box)
$2.99 for the Washing Soda (again, plenty more to use for other batches)
$0.97 for the bar of Fels-Naptha

I've heard you can use other soap like Ivory, but as the Fels-Naptha is a pre-treater, I thought it might work better for in the wash. The Ivory might be gentler though so if I notice the Fels-Naptha is too harsh on the clothes, I might switch.

I'll update everyone how I like it, but I know my wallet likes it already!

Here's the math on my savings.
borax 76oz  This is enough for 4.75 batches = $0.71 per batch
washing soda 55oz This is enough for 3.44 batches = $0.87 per batch
fels-naptha 5.5oz This is enough for 1 batch = $0.97 per batch

$2.55 per batch of 37.5oz
I use 2 Tbsp (or 1 oz) per load so this will get me about 37 loads. But you can use 1 Tbsp per load (I just usually fill my washer to capacity and seem to have more soiled loads than non-soiled loads....) This comes out to a little less than 7 cents per load and if you use just 1 Tbsp, it would be half that! Pretty cool huh!!!

A little icing on the cake

Ok, so this post has nothing to do with family life or the frugal home or going green or anything. But it's some exciting stuff for me, a little icing on my cake of life. I'm very excited as my best friend in the whole world is getting married! We've been besties since around jr. high and she's the person I always go back to. You know, the one who's always there. You've got your highschool friends who I didn't keep in touch. You've got your college friends but once I graduated it was hard to stay close. But no matter where I have lived, where I was at, whether I was married or single, she's always been there.
She's now the "aunt" to my little boy and I know he'll grow up adoring her as much as I do. She's a great friend to my husband and he can even see how special she is to me and how important she is in our lives.
I'm not just excited for her but I'm excited for ME! You know the saying "always a bridesmaid but never the bride"? Well that's not quite the case. You see as much as I was friends with other girls, I never could get "in" to be one of the select to be a bridesmaid. I've sang in weddings and been the guestbook person... but I've never been a bridesmaid. It's very funny because I was made to be a bridesmaid. I'm organized, creative, punctual, frugal, shopping savvy.... I am thoughtful and would always put the bride first and look out for her interest above all else. But alas, this is the first and probably the only time I will ever be a bridesmaid.
So I'm taking it all in, making sure I help as I can and don't miss any of the special events (like the dress picking/cake tasting/venue shopping etc...). I'm loving it already and am so happy my friend is including me in her special day.
So thank you Diana for adding some pretty sweet frosting to my life!