Will post pics soon.
Thanks for reading!
I had started feeling some contractions around 10:00 on
Saturday night. They weren't bad but were pretty consistent. But I had had
these types of contractions for days, even weeks, and they always went away
after I fell asleep. So I laid down and closed my eyes and tried to fall
asleep. I was a bit excited as my due date was the next day. I just had a
feeling that He would be born the next day. But I knew I needed to sleep, so I
did. Around 3 am I woke up and was still feeling some contractions. This did
not aid in diminishing my excitement as usually my contractions would go away.
I wanted so desperately to wake up Alan and tell him all about it. But I knew
if today was the day, he would need as much sleep as he could get. So I rolled
over and tried to fall back asleep. I dosed on and off and finally got up
around 5. I was still contracting every few minutes. They were close together,
around every 3 minutes or less, but not too strong. I decided to get up and
take a shower to see if I got up if they would go away. But, the contractions
just got stronger. When I got out of the shower, I woke Alan up and let him
know today was the day!
We were so excited! The house was so quiet as Caleb hadn't
gotten up yet. I did my hair and make-up and got my comfy clothes on--
continuing to have contractions the whole time. We waited till around 6:30 and
decided to call Alan’s mom and let her know today is the day. She was going to
get ready and then get on the road. We called my mom too and let her know what
was going on. Finally, we called Hannah, our doula, and told her it was today!
It was so surreal. The fact that it was my due date, and mother’s day, and a
Sunday (the same day of the week Caleb was born). Everything felt right and I
was just so happy that things were going as I had hoped.
My contractions were getting stronger-- so much so that I
would have to stop and really concentrate and relax to get through them. They
were just a few minutes apart and things seemed to be progressing well. So we
called Hannah again and had her come over.
The moment Hannah walked in the door, everything stopped. I
stopped contracting completely. We walked around and talked and I tried to just
go about my normal routine. We love Hannah but she isn't family and isn't a part
of the normalness at our house. It was as if the intrusion scared labor away. I
walked around Caleb’s room alone with the lights low and would feel the
contractions come back a bit and start to grow. But then they would go away
quickly. I was frustrated as I really wanted baby to come on mother’s day. IT
would be so special.
We decided after chatting on the bed and walking around the
house, that it would be best if we took advantage of this “delay” in things and
go enjoy ourselves. Marla got there about this time (around 10:00) and she
decided to take Caleb to a park to go play and let Alan and I have some time
alone. I was hungry so we decided to go get breakfast. We got in the car and
the contractions began again. I thought they would go away as they had before,
especially since we were now out in daylight and not in the illusion of night
that our bedroom gave us. Having contractions in a car is no fun. There is no
way to change your position to what feels good and it’s very difficult to
relax.
We arrived at Cracker Barrel and went in and put our name on
the list. It was going to be a 50 min wait but I was happy to look around the
store. But, I began contracting even more. The idea of all those people staring
at me while I was holding on Alan to get through the contraction was making me
nervous. I just wanted to get away from the crowd. So we left and drove through
Steak and Shake and got some biscuits and gravy and sweet tea. It was just before 11 at this point.
We went home and ate our breakfast and the contractions just
kept on coming. We waited for about 30 minutes and decided it was time to go to
the hospital. I didn't want to do most of my labor at home as I wanted a water
birth and wanted to utilize the tub during labor to help me relax. I continued
to contract on the way to the hospital, but as we walked in, the contractions
went away again. This was frustrating as they had been every couple minutes. I
felt like the staff at the triage in the ER was rolling their eyes as if to say
“really? You think you need to be here? They are so going to send you home….”
But they took me upstairs and brought me in a room.
Right away, things were not as I wanted. They had me change
into a gown. I had requested to wear my own clothes, but they said, “just put this
on for now, you can change later”. So I did and was waiting to see what would
happen next. They started getting out the EFM belt and I told them I did not
want any EFM. They said it was standard and I had to have it. Again, I refused
and said no, I had talked with my provider and only want monitoring via the
dopplar. They said, no I had to have this or else they wouldn't know how baby
was doing. Again, I explained I didn't want this, that it is not best practice,
and they said they would go get another nurse. That nurse was VERY rude to us.
She basically talked to me like a child-- saying sit down and put this on and
let us get what we need. I was getting very upset at this point and was crying.
I didn't know what to do. I had stood up, said what I wanted, said no about 10
times, but no one would listen to me. At this point I couldn't fight anymore. I
was dealing with contractions and beginning to hyperventilate. So I laid there,
crying, and they put on the belt and began to monitor.
I really believe if this hadn't happened, that my labor
would have gone completely different. So I stayed there and was monitored and
was checked (I was 5 cm at this point) and was given the go ahead to get in the
tub. The water was pretty warm when I got in. I had to add a lot of cold water
to even feel comfortable-- but quickly was getting hot. This was another
mistake that could have been avoided by a staff who knew that a hot mama means
a higher heart rate for baby. The nurse came in periodically with the dopplar to
get a measurement. She had no idea what she was doing. Hannah had to re-position
the probe MANY times as the nurse wasn't picking up the heart. It was clear the
staff was not comfortable using the dopplar. I really liked being in the tub,
the contractions were about 5 min apart and were getting stronger, but not
unbearable by any means. I was still talking and laughing between contractions,
and didn't need to keep my concentration too much as it was easy to relax as
soon as I began feeling the contraction. I was in the tub for probably an hour
and a half, maybe a bit more, and things weren't really progressing. So I got
out and was going to walk around.
This is when things really didn't follow what I wanted. They
wanted to get my hep lock in and since I was going to be sitting for them to do
that anyway, they said they wanted to put on the EFM. I had said no, I had
expressed this in my birth plan, I had talked to my midwife about it, but still
they demanded it be done. We asked for the portable one and they said it was
out of batteries. We asked for batteries. No one seemed to care what I wanted
and just ignored me. It took a long time to get the hep lock started. They had
to pull staff from another area as no one could find a vein to use. Finally
they got it. But they said baby’s heart rate was up so I couldn't get up and
walk around because they had to monitor me. “Just a 15 min strip is all we
need” they kept saying. I was having a hard time relaxing during the
contractions being flat on my back in bed. I hated feeling trapped and didn't
know what to do. We had planned and planned so I wouldn't feel like this. I was
so frustrated that no one was listening to me. I was able to get onto a
birthing ball right by the bed as the cords reached that far. This helped things
progress some. Labor was very intense at this point and I was using Alan a lot. I would lean forward on him when
the contraction came and slide forward on the ball. Hannah did some great counter
pressure on my lower back. This went on for a while, I’m not sure how long. I
remember it was after 5 and I was getting frustrated. They had told me for
hours “just 15 more minutes” but I was still hooked up to that stupid machine.
I kept asking when I could take it off and they finally brought the midwife in.
She checked me and I was at 7 cm. (not a lot of progress for 5 hours) She
explained that I didn't have to have it on, but that they were concerned.
Baby’s heart rate was high and they needed to monitor it. They were worried
about late decels. I asked if they had seen any. They said no. So I told them
to take the monitor off. I told them they could reassess in half an hour, and I
told everyone to get out of my room.
It was around 5:30- maybe a bit later than that- and I began
to walk around the room. Labor picked up like nobody’s business! I was
contracting every minute to minute and a half. Contractions were long and hard.
I would walk and then grab Alan’s arms and just hang, squatting low. He held me
and supported me. It was such a special time. My mom called the nurses in after
just a few minutes and said we needed to get the tub ready as I was progressing
quickly. After around 15-20 minutes of hard hard labor, I stepped into the tub
and had a few more contractions. I stayed in a squatting position for those few
contractions and during one felt a switch in everything. Suddenly I had to push
and couldn't do anything but push. I yelled out “I have to push!” and things
started happening quickly. They called in Ellen- the midwife- and were getting
everything ready. I was really confused-- with Caleb, I pushed for 2 ½ hours
before he was born. I wasn't sure what the hurry was about. I moved around in
the tub and ended up laying pretty flat in the tub with my legs in a frog like
position. I loved feeling the support all around me from the water and the
emotional support all around me. Alan was right there, holding me on my back
and side. I felt a “pop” and it was my water breaking. I called out “get the
baby”-- meaning Caleb-- as I wanted him to be there. I saw Marla come through
the door with him. He went with my mom and was so concerned about me and later about the baby. I loved that he was there to experience the birth. After that, all I saw and all I heard was Ellen. I
focused on what she was telling me to do. I pushed and pushed right along with
the contractions. This time I felt amazing, so in tune with what my body was
doing. I gave a great push and then felt the contraction going away and needed
a breath so stopped pushing. I heard Ellen say “You need to push Kim” and I was
thinking “I don’t have to push. I’ll push when I’m ready”. Then she said “his
head is out, you have to push!” I had no idea and pushed him out the rest of
the way. I was completely stunned. It was 6:21 and I had a baby laying on my
tummy. I looked up in surprise and “that’s my baby!” came out of my mouth.
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