The birth story

Ok, well everyone I know has told everyone else about their birth experience and I feel since I am starting a blog, that this would be a fun thing to do as well. So here it is, our birth story.

Leading up to the day: In case you didn't know, our little guy was a week late. I had a doctor's appointment at 40 weeks 5 days-- it was Friday, September 23. I hadn't ever been checked to see if I was dilated at all or effaced... we had read a lot about getting checked, that it was pretty pointless as it didn't tell you anything about when labor would actually begin, so this was the first time. It was pretty painful and I wasn't prepared for the exam to hurt so much. I was 2 1/2 cm dilated and about 50% effaced. Caleb was doing great with normal heart rate and "breathing" and had plenty of fluid. So we got the OK for him to stay in there till the next week. My midwife said I might have some spotting and this was normal. So we went home. Not really any contractions at this point (a few in the evenings that always went away). I did have some spotting but all seemed normal. We were happy that he was OK, but at the same time, we were ready for him to arrive and almost wished they would "force" us to do something to make things move more quickly. Since we knew induction can lead to some things that we didn't want, we decided to wait on his timing.

Our "classes": Let me pause and tell you about our preparation for labor/birth. Alan and I read The Husband Coached Childbirth and Natural Childbirth: The Bradley Way. We read them out loud, cover to cover. We liked the latter one better as it was easier to read, but both were great. We weren't able to attend any Bradley classes but worked together on relaxation exercises, breathing, positioning... I worked on exercises for months to stretch and get my body ready for the marathon of birth. I loved the idea of being so in control of the whole experience. We learned so much about the process of labor, what to expect, and how to work with my body to let it do what it was created to do. (Speaking of creation, I think the bradley method forgets the curse of eve, cause it sure was painful, but more on that later.) We wanted a completely natural birth with no medical interventions and no pain medication. This was the goal. I now realize that the goal actually was a healthy, alert, non-drugged baby-- but having a natural birth was a means to this end. I felt prepared for labor, but was nervous about relaxing, nervous about pushing, and nervous about Alan coaching. Ok, back to the story.

Saturday: I couldn't sleep Friday night at all-- maybe got 3 hours max. I kept thinking about baking things but we didn't have much in the pantry to bake. So once it wasn't too early to wake Alan up, we went to the grocery store and stocked up on baking supplies for at least 10 different recipes. Like I said, I had some spotting, but nothing unusual-- well nothing unusual until that afternoon. I started to have some bright red spotting and got nervous. After a call to my mom, I called the on call doctor at Christie clinic. She said it could be normal, but to watch for clotting and come in if I had any. I was so relieved! I hadn't had any clots.... until that is about 2 minutes after I hung up from the doctor. So we gathered all the bags, called my parents, and went to the hospital. We fully intended to come right back home. With the bradley method, you labor for a while at home and I hadn't had any contractions. So while we had all the stuff, we weren't really in the "we're having a baby!" mindset. We were so used to being pregnant that I figured I would still be pregnant in the morning.

At the hospital: When we got the hospital, it was a little before 7pm. It was perfect timing because our nurse partner, Kelsey, was getting to work right then and saw us in the lobby. She walked us up and got us into a triage room. They hooked me up to a monitor just to see what was going on, and then checked me. I was 3 cm and was about 75% effaced. I was expecting them to say "you're fine, he's ok, go home". But instead, they told me to walk around a bit and they would reassess in 2 hours. It was 8 pm when they said this. So Alan and I walked. I started having some contractions but they were not really painful. I would lean on Alan and then we would move on. They were odd as they lasted about 15-20 seconds but were about 50 seconds from the start of one to the start of the next one. After the 2 hours (and a lot of walking and bouncing on the birthing ball and watching some finding nemo on tv), they checked me again and hooked me up to the monitor. I was clearly contracting according to the monitor and was 5 cm and 100% effaced. I was thrilled as I hadn't really done any work, but also freaking out because it wasn't supposed to happen like this. I was supposed to be at home and start feeling some and then move into bed when it got to be too much and then seriously work for a while before coming to the hospital. So it didn't sink in right away that we were staying, and that I would be birthing our baby soon.

The work begins: I don't remember a lot about what happened when. Time was non-existent. But I do remember they needed to go through some papers (not a good time while I was trying to relax). Luckily it didn't take long. They insisted on a hep lock. My midwife said I didn't have to have anything, but as it was the weekend, there was a doctor on call. That's the one bad thing about Provena, no midwives on the weekends. I don't think I went too long before moving into the tub. I loved laboring in the bath! I really wouldn't call my labor painful while in the tub and might consider a waterbirth for the next one. There was just pressure, the same type of pressure and in the same area as menstrual cramps. But later these got more intense. So I won't be one of those people who say it's just like that. I got out after a while for them to check on Caleb to see how he was doing. I tried some other positions like on my hands and knees but HATED it. He needed to turn more though so I tried to do these positions at least a little. I went back in the tub and was doing pretty good.

Transition!: Once I hit 7.5 cm, it was getting much more difficult to relax. I don't know when it happened or how long it took to reach 10 cm. Alan said pushing took around 2 hours, (2:30- 4:30?) so it might have taken around 2 hours (12:30- 2:30?) to fully dilate. I wasn't expecting my body to take such a beating. I was shaking all over. I couldn't stop. I know I lost control a few times. I started moaning some but was usually still able to breath steadily and relax. There was one time when I just couldn't listed to Alan any more. He had done SUCH a great job of coaching me to relax. But I just couldn't do it. The nurse stepped right in, got in my face, and got me through it. I know there were 3 nurses in the room for a lot of the transition and pushing phases. They were amazing and so encouraging. I did hit the doubting signpost and told Alan I couldn't do it. He reminded me that this meant we were so close to pushing! He also reminded me of Jill (her story is awesome) :)
I never did ask for pain meds. It didn't even cross my mind. But I know I would have probably accepted them if anyone had offered. I kept asking them to check me at this point because I was in a lot of pain and knew once I started pushing, there would be a little release. Finally, the doctor checked me and gave the ok to push.

Pushing: I had been nervous all night about pushing. I didn't let anyone talk about him getting here because I was so scared about this part. But once I started pushing, all my reservations and nervousness and worries disappeared. I started off in the squatting position but put too much of the push in my thighs. I couldn't figure out how to support myself in a squat while relaxing everything but the pushing areas. We then tried the hands and knees position. This hurt more than anything and I quickly said this was not the position for me. My nurse could see I was having a hard time figuring out a good pushing position. She suggested a more traditional position and I was open to anything at this point. I ended up in a kind of sit squat. Alan had one leg, my mom had the other and I would do almost a sit up of sorts or a crunch with each push and they would just hold my legs back. Looking back, I think it would have gone a little better if they would have pushed my knees back more towards my chest. Alan said he tried to do this but to coordinate it wasn't working and he didn't want me lopsided. My contractions slowed down for some reason, which really was no fun. I needed to push, I had the urge the entire time and had to be put on a monitor just to help me figure out when to push. But waiting 2-3 minutes between pushes was torture. I was out of it. I don't remember what people said or did, I was focused. The pain of him moving down was aweful. Each push felt like I was trying to poo out a watermelon. It was like "push as hard as I can to get it over" but also, "it hurts more than anything I've ever felt!" I have to pause here and say I don't know how women who have an epidural do it. I had to have the nurse put her fingers where I was supposed to focus the push. I wouldn't have been able to push effectively without feeling what I was doing.
It seemed like under 30 min to me but I pushed for about 2 hours. They broke my water after some pushing, not sure how long, as things weren't really progressing. The end was long to me as I kept thinking "this is the last push!" and then it wasn't. The doctor was called in eventually and my heart leaped. Sadly I think I was more excited to be done with it all than to actually see my baby. But I pushed, I pushed so hard and long and finally after his head kept peaking out and going away, his head finally was born. One more push on that same contraction and he was here!

He's here!: They put Caleb right on me. I was completely exhausted and didn't really know what to say or do. I looked at him but don't really remember what all happened. I remember Alan cutting the cord and I said they could take Caleb to get cleaned up. I was getting stitched up. I guess I had some tearing. I didn't feel it and they didn't tell me if it was bad. Honestly I didn't want to know. It was kind of a blur. All I could think of was how tired I was. I was running on 3 hours sleep from the night before and had now missed another night's sleep. I wish I would have been more awake to enjoy those first few hours. But it was worth it. I did it. He was so awake and bright eyed and alert. I gave him that. I was and am so proud of myself for doing this, so proud of Alan-- I couldn't have done it without him, and while my first reaction was "never again", I know I could do this again for our future children.