Alan and I are so excited about this coming year. We are excited for healthier bodies, closer and better and more real relationships with God, and a better hold on our financial areas. We are doing the "Financial Peace University" plan and have done the first week's material and I'm so excited. It really is freeing when you have a better grasp on your finances. We're prepared to tighten our belts, work extra if we can (and this is more Alan as I really want to devote as much time as I can to being home with Caleb, I think that's really important and that God has called me to be a homemaker even though I do work part time), and save save save!
We're excited about our tax return jump starting this "saving" process and will use most of it to pay off some debt. All you newly weds or engaged couples out there-- you need to start doing this program so you DON'T get into debt and so that you ARE prepared for the future. I highly recommend it already! My mom did it last year and she is doing great. Their motto is live like no one does so you can LIVE like no one does. We are excited what God has for us as we are better stewards of his money and as we give over control of that portion of our lives to Him.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
3 months already!
I can't believe that Caleb is already 3 months old. I know I say that each month, that it "seems like only yesterday we brought him home..." but I'll say it again, and I'll keep on saying it because it's going way too fast!
Caleb has done some pretty cool things since he has been born! We love the little boy he is becoming. He is such a sweetheart and has such a happy personality. Here are some great things that have happened/things he's done so far. (in no particular order)
1. He rolled over! He now rolls all the time from his tummy to his back. Sometimes this happens when I least expect it. Like when he was propped up with his whale pillow under his chest, playing with his toys, then wham-- he rolled over and bumped his head! Poor little guy.
2. He smiles :) I love his smiles. I love the ones when he finishes eating and is kinda asleep and his mouth is open and just goes into the biggest smile. I love the mouth wide open smiles, gums and all. I love the mouth closed smiles that draw a line so big across his face, they make his cheeks look so chubby! I love that he smiles when he sees me, that he knows my voice and looks for me.
3. He talks... well sort of. He loves when you talk to him and just lights up and smiles so big. You can really get him going by repeating what he does. He just loves it! I've noticed that at certain times, he makes the same sounds. Like when he's sleepy and about to go to sleep, he makes the same "words" and when he's playing and batting at his toys, he makes certain sounds. It's like he's trying to say stuff, not just making noise, and that's pretty cute.
4. He plays. He loves playing on his back on his play mat. He bats at toys and grabs them and shoves them in his mouth if he can. He will sit in his bouncer and hold toys and put them in his mouth, but it's harder for him to hold onto them and keep them, usually he drops them after just a minute or two. He likes looking at bright lights and moving pictures/lights. A lot of his toys light up and you can really get him going by playing with these with him.
5. He stands.. ok not by himself but still he puts all his weight on his feet. You just have to stabilize him. He loves to stand and wiggle around.
6. He sleeps pretty good at night. He usually goes to sleep at around 7:30pm and then sleeps for a big chunk of time. This varies by night but if he's had a good day, he might sleep till after midnight or even 1am. When he does wake up, he eats and then goes right back to sleep. Well, this is true if he's had a good day. If not he tends to be awake around 3:30 am and needs to play after he eats before he sleeps again. This is frustrating so hopefully this will stop soon. I can't wait to get a full nights sleep. I never knew I could be this tired but still function.
7. He chews everything! If he can get your finger, it's his favorite. But he'll chew his own finger and thumb, chew his toys, his teethers, his blankets, the burp cloth..... if he can get it in his hands, he will get it in his mouth. This of course comes with a ton of drool and sadly some chapped skin. But mama tries to prevent this by lots of dabbing and some lanolin now and then. If anyone knows of a baby safe chapped skin product, let me know :)
I'll have to ask Alan if he can think of other cute stuff that he does. He's overall such a good tempered happy baby. He's so expressive and makes tons of silly faces. I just love looking at him!
Caleb has done some pretty cool things since he has been born! We love the little boy he is becoming. He is such a sweetheart and has such a happy personality. Here are some great things that have happened/things he's done so far. (in no particular order)
1. He rolled over! He now rolls all the time from his tummy to his back. Sometimes this happens when I least expect it. Like when he was propped up with his whale pillow under his chest, playing with his toys, then wham-- he rolled over and bumped his head! Poor little guy.
2. He smiles :) I love his smiles. I love the ones when he finishes eating and is kinda asleep and his mouth is open and just goes into the biggest smile. I love the mouth wide open smiles, gums and all. I love the mouth closed smiles that draw a line so big across his face, they make his cheeks look so chubby! I love that he smiles when he sees me, that he knows my voice and looks for me.
3. He talks... well sort of. He loves when you talk to him and just lights up and smiles so big. You can really get him going by repeating what he does. He just loves it! I've noticed that at certain times, he makes the same sounds. Like when he's sleepy and about to go to sleep, he makes the same "words" and when he's playing and batting at his toys, he makes certain sounds. It's like he's trying to say stuff, not just making noise, and that's pretty cute.
4. He plays. He loves playing on his back on his play mat. He bats at toys and grabs them and shoves them in his mouth if he can. He will sit in his bouncer and hold toys and put them in his mouth, but it's harder for him to hold onto them and keep them, usually he drops them after just a minute or two. He likes looking at bright lights and moving pictures/lights. A lot of his toys light up and you can really get him going by playing with these with him.
5. He stands.. ok not by himself but still he puts all his weight on his feet. You just have to stabilize him. He loves to stand and wiggle around.
6. He sleeps pretty good at night. He usually goes to sleep at around 7:30pm and then sleeps for a big chunk of time. This varies by night but if he's had a good day, he might sleep till after midnight or even 1am. When he does wake up, he eats and then goes right back to sleep. Well, this is true if he's had a good day. If not he tends to be awake around 3:30 am and needs to play after he eats before he sleeps again. This is frustrating so hopefully this will stop soon. I can't wait to get a full nights sleep. I never knew I could be this tired but still function.
7. He chews everything! If he can get your finger, it's his favorite. But he'll chew his own finger and thumb, chew his toys, his teethers, his blankets, the burp cloth..... if he can get it in his hands, he will get it in his mouth. This of course comes with a ton of drool and sadly some chapped skin. But mama tries to prevent this by lots of dabbing and some lanolin now and then. If anyone knows of a baby safe chapped skin product, let me know :)
I'll have to ask Alan if he can think of other cute stuff that he does. He's overall such a good tempered happy baby. He's so expressive and makes tons of silly faces. I just love looking at him!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
going green: cloth diapers
So, I'd like to start a reoccurring post about how our family is going green. This might be being more organic, being energy saving, saving the planet or saving some green :) My first post is on cloth diapers.
Years before we had Caleb, I had looked into cloth diapering and thought it was a great idea. You spend some money, buy some diapers, and never have to pay for disposables each month, saving tons of money (and making a lot less waste). But I didn't know how the idea would go over with the family.
You see, I have some pretty opinionated people in my life. And a lot of them know quite a lot about taking care of kids. So I could just hear them laughing at me, saying "You want to do what?! Don't you know what a hassle cloth diapers are?! Are you crazy?!!!" So since there was not a baby in my near future, I kept my mouth shut.
Soon though, my sister-in-law became pregnant and began registering and talking about baby things. And to my wonderful surprise, she wanted to use cloth diapers! Ha! What wonderful news! SHE would have to be the one to get everyone on board! But the thing is, everyone loved the idea. They were really open to seeing how far cloth diapers have come and that they really could save us some money. Laurren also wanted to use Bumgenius ones and I'm so glad she did. She loves them so we decided to use that brand as well.
We were able to take advantage of their buy 5 get one free deal and bought 6 diapers. Alan's parents bought us 18 and my mom bought us some too! We ended up buying some extra small all-in-ones for when he was a newborn and used these for about 7 weeks I think. Now he's in the one size ones with the snaps. We really love the fact that we can adjust the absorbancy to his needs (like doubling up at night). But we might get some AIOs too and might try some other brands as we have other friends who use cloth diapers and like different brands for different needs.
The bumgenius ones are a great all around diaper. The one size ones aren't very trim though, but he has still been able to fit in all of his pants with them. They come in super cute colors, but you probably notice them more with girls as they can wear them with dresses and you don't even need a diaper cover. He of course won't be wearing dresses so you don't really ever see the diapers. Just know they are cute :)
They don't take too long to clean as the covers line dry really fast and the inserts can be tumbled dry. I would never try to cloth diaper if you had to go to the laundry mat though. We do diapers about every other day or 2 days. We use the bumgenius detergent but I have had some stains on the inserts. I haven't tried drying them in the sun as it's been cold. But I've heard it really works.
Caleb seems to love his diapers, but we do have to make sure they are not snapped too snug. It's much nicer on his skin than disposables and he never gets rashes from the cloth ones. We do use disposables when we visit family in Indiana and occasionally when mom doesn't keep up on the laundry (I like Luvs, they really don't ever leak! But I would like to get some more natural disposables) :) But for the most part, we can use cloth exclusively and use bags when we are out and about.
So this is one of our first steps to being green. For those of you who are thinking of using cloth, let me know if you have any questions. We liked buying them on cottonbabies.com but Babyland in Savoy, IL sells them in their store and also sells some other brands. They might not have a huge selection of colors though. I know they have a trial program where you can try out different brands of cloth diapers. That would be a great way to start! Bumgenius ones are around $18 a piece but you can buy bundles to get them cheaper. They also sell organic ones to be even greener, but that ups the cost too.
Years before we had Caleb, I had looked into cloth diapering and thought it was a great idea. You spend some money, buy some diapers, and never have to pay for disposables each month, saving tons of money (and making a lot less waste). But I didn't know how the idea would go over with the family.
You see, I have some pretty opinionated people in my life. And a lot of them know quite a lot about taking care of kids. So I could just hear them laughing at me, saying "You want to do what?! Don't you know what a hassle cloth diapers are?! Are you crazy?!!!" So since there was not a baby in my near future, I kept my mouth shut.
Soon though, my sister-in-law became pregnant and began registering and talking about baby things. And to my wonderful surprise, she wanted to use cloth diapers! Ha! What wonderful news! SHE would have to be the one to get everyone on board! But the thing is, everyone loved the idea. They were really open to seeing how far cloth diapers have come and that they really could save us some money. Laurren also wanted to use Bumgenius ones and I'm so glad she did. She loves them so we decided to use that brand as well.
We were able to take advantage of their buy 5 get one free deal and bought 6 diapers. Alan's parents bought us 18 and my mom bought us some too! We ended up buying some extra small all-in-ones for when he was a newborn and used these for about 7 weeks I think. Now he's in the one size ones with the snaps. We really love the fact that we can adjust the absorbancy to his needs (like doubling up at night). But we might get some AIOs too and might try some other brands as we have other friends who use cloth diapers and like different brands for different needs.
The bumgenius ones are a great all around diaper. The one size ones aren't very trim though, but he has still been able to fit in all of his pants with them. They come in super cute colors, but you probably notice them more with girls as they can wear them with dresses and you don't even need a diaper cover. He of course won't be wearing dresses so you don't really ever see the diapers. Just know they are cute :)
They don't take too long to clean as the covers line dry really fast and the inserts can be tumbled dry. I would never try to cloth diaper if you had to go to the laundry mat though. We do diapers about every other day or 2 days. We use the bumgenius detergent but I have had some stains on the inserts. I haven't tried drying them in the sun as it's been cold. But I've heard it really works.
Caleb seems to love his diapers, but we do have to make sure they are not snapped too snug. It's much nicer on his skin than disposables and he never gets rashes from the cloth ones. We do use disposables when we visit family in Indiana and occasionally when mom doesn't keep up on the laundry (I like Luvs, they really don't ever leak! But I would like to get some more natural disposables) :) But for the most part, we can use cloth exclusively and use bags when we are out and about.
So this is one of our first steps to being green. For those of you who are thinking of using cloth, let me know if you have any questions. We liked buying them on cottonbabies.com but Babyland in Savoy, IL sells them in their store and also sells some other brands. They might not have a huge selection of colors though. I know they have a trial program where you can try out different brands of cloth diapers. That would be a great way to start! Bumgenius ones are around $18 a piece but you can buy bundles to get them cheaper. They also sell organic ones to be even greener, but that ups the cost too.
things Caleb likes
Caleb is about 2 1/2 months old now and has such a little personality! He is social, loves to smile, and finally has some sort of routine (eat, play, sleep). I'm noticing that he really likes some things and really doesn't like others. So here's our list of stuff that he (and we) like.
1. His swing: who knew?! He hated it at first and would startle every time he went back and forth. But now he loves it. We actually were able to borrow it from a family my mom works for. So all this bliss is free! He is content to just be awake and watch the bears dangle above him. Or it's great for helping him drift off to sleep. I've found that if I can pick up on his tired cues early and put him in there, he's happy enough to just swing until he falls asleep.
2. His playmat: My brother Nicholas gave us a different playmat than we registered for and boy am I glad! Caleb loves his ocean themed baby einstein playmat. He bats at the toys and watches the removeable box that lights up and plays music. It really keeps his attention well and he usually can play after he eats until he gets tired and is ready for a nap.
3. His bouncer: We got him the snuggabunny bouncer. He's liked this from the very beginning. My one dislike is that it seems to eat up the betteries and doesn't have an option to plug in. He likes the vibration and the music it plays, so it would be nice for us if it could plu in. He doesn't do as well in there anymore unless he's sleepy/sleeping or just kind of content. If he wants to play, he would much rather be on his mat or in his activity center.
4. This lead us to his activity center. We got a step and play piano one that grows with him. He can already sit in the seat, swat at the rattle, and tries to press the buttons (but can't push down hard enough yet). He dances and wiggles to the music. He can sit in it without blankets supporting him, but if I wasn't right there, I would put some in just in case.
5. His changing pad: I know, weird right? Well, he loves laying there. If he's all worked up, I just bring him in, lay him down, and he flashes a huge smile! Not sure what it is about it (it is a serta). I'm glad he likes diaper changes too and that we don't have to deal with a screaming baby every time.
6. The mobile in his room: We got the Toy Box mobile from FAO schwarz. It plays such a soothing lullaby. I only wish it played a little longer (so when I leave him in his crib with it playing, that I could actually go to the bathroom and be back before it is done :)
7. His pacifier (oh and we call it a pacifier, not a paci, not a binky etc....) YAY! I worked so hard with him, I think around 1 month old, to get him to use a pacifier. We got the Nuk brand as I've heard their good for teeth. I can't imagine if he didn't take one. But he also has started to ADORE his hands-- they are ALWAYS in his mouth if the pacifier isn't. The only bad thing is I'm constantly having to wash his hands. They get sooooo icky!
8. His bathtub: So the tub we got had mixed reviews... but Caleb loves it! It has a removeable part that makes a little whirlpool in the tub. He kicks his legs and seems to love the water rushing around. It also has a shower attatchment so you can spray clean water on him to rinse him off. I'm so glad we have the little ducky that tells you if it's too hot. That's really helped us with his bath time. He does like to have a washcloth on his belly while taking a bath, but so did I when I was little :)
9. the co-sleeper: Ok, so this one might be more of one that I like, but I think he would not like it if we didn't have one. It's so great to be right there while he's sleeping. I can wake up, look over, and see his tummy go up and down ever so slightly. Or I can just grab him and feed him without my feet hitting the floor. It's really a great idea! We both sleep so well knowing the other one is right there (and I sleep good knowing I won't roll onto him or suffocate him....) Thanks Arm's Reach!
10. his mamma: Ok, so I guess this isn't a thing, but we have a mamma's boy. I know he loves his daddy, but there's just something about the fact that I feed him, I carried him, I birthed him... we just have a bond! I love seeing him smile when he see's me and that sometimes I'm the only one who can make it better. I love that he needs me! I love that he wants me! I love being the mamma!!!
1. His swing: who knew?! He hated it at first and would startle every time he went back and forth. But now he loves it. We actually were able to borrow it from a family my mom works for. So all this bliss is free! He is content to just be awake and watch the bears dangle above him. Or it's great for helping him drift off to sleep. I've found that if I can pick up on his tired cues early and put him in there, he's happy enough to just swing until he falls asleep.
2. His playmat: My brother Nicholas gave us a different playmat than we registered for and boy am I glad! Caleb loves his ocean themed baby einstein playmat. He bats at the toys and watches the removeable box that lights up and plays music. It really keeps his attention well and he usually can play after he eats until he gets tired and is ready for a nap.
3. His bouncer: We got him the snuggabunny bouncer. He's liked this from the very beginning. My one dislike is that it seems to eat up the betteries and doesn't have an option to plug in. He likes the vibration and the music it plays, so it would be nice for us if it could plu in. He doesn't do as well in there anymore unless he's sleepy/sleeping or just kind of content. If he wants to play, he would much rather be on his mat or in his activity center.
4. This lead us to his activity center. We got a step and play piano one that grows with him. He can already sit in the seat, swat at the rattle, and tries to press the buttons (but can't push down hard enough yet). He dances and wiggles to the music. He can sit in it without blankets supporting him, but if I wasn't right there, I would put some in just in case.
5. His changing pad: I know, weird right? Well, he loves laying there. If he's all worked up, I just bring him in, lay him down, and he flashes a huge smile! Not sure what it is about it (it is a serta). I'm glad he likes diaper changes too and that we don't have to deal with a screaming baby every time.
6. The mobile in his room: We got the Toy Box mobile from FAO schwarz. It plays such a soothing lullaby. I only wish it played a little longer (so when I leave him in his crib with it playing, that I could actually go to the bathroom and be back before it is done :)
7. His pacifier (oh and we call it a pacifier, not a paci, not a binky etc....) YAY! I worked so hard with him, I think around 1 month old, to get him to use a pacifier. We got the Nuk brand as I've heard their good for teeth. I can't imagine if he didn't take one. But he also has started to ADORE his hands-- they are ALWAYS in his mouth if the pacifier isn't. The only bad thing is I'm constantly having to wash his hands. They get sooooo icky!
8. His bathtub: So the tub we got had mixed reviews... but Caleb loves it! It has a removeable part that makes a little whirlpool in the tub. He kicks his legs and seems to love the water rushing around. It also has a shower attatchment so you can spray clean water on him to rinse him off. I'm so glad we have the little ducky that tells you if it's too hot. That's really helped us with his bath time. He does like to have a washcloth on his belly while taking a bath, but so did I when I was little :)
9. the co-sleeper: Ok, so this one might be more of one that I like, but I think he would not like it if we didn't have one. It's so great to be right there while he's sleeping. I can wake up, look over, and see his tummy go up and down ever so slightly. Or I can just grab him and feed him without my feet hitting the floor. It's really a great idea! We both sleep so well knowing the other one is right there (and I sleep good knowing I won't roll onto him or suffocate him....) Thanks Arm's Reach!
10. his mamma: Ok, so I guess this isn't a thing, but we have a mamma's boy. I know he loves his daddy, but there's just something about the fact that I feed him, I carried him, I birthed him... we just have a bond! I love seeing him smile when he see's me and that sometimes I'm the only one who can make it better. I love that he needs me! I love that he wants me! I love being the mamma!!!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
The birth story
Ok, well everyone I know has told everyone else about their birth experience and I feel since I am starting a blog, that this would be a fun thing to do as well. So here it is, our birth story.
Leading up to the day: In case you didn't know, our little guy was a week late. I had a doctor's appointment at 40 weeks 5 days-- it was Friday, September 23. I hadn't ever been checked to see if I was dilated at all or effaced... we had read a lot about getting checked, that it was pretty pointless as it didn't tell you anything about when labor would actually begin, so this was the first time. It was pretty painful and I wasn't prepared for the exam to hurt so much. I was 2 1/2 cm dilated and about 50% effaced. Caleb was doing great with normal heart rate and "breathing" and had plenty of fluid. So we got the OK for him to stay in there till the next week. My midwife said I might have some spotting and this was normal. So we went home. Not really any contractions at this point (a few in the evenings that always went away). I did have some spotting but all seemed normal. We were happy that he was OK, but at the same time, we were ready for him to arrive and almost wished they would "force" us to do something to make things move more quickly. Since we knew induction can lead to some things that we didn't want, we decided to wait on his timing.
Our "classes": Let me pause and tell you about our preparation for labor/birth. Alan and I read The Husband Coached Childbirth and Natural Childbirth: The Bradley Way. We read them out loud, cover to cover. We liked the latter one better as it was easier to read, but both were great. We weren't able to attend any Bradley classes but worked together on relaxation exercises, breathing, positioning... I worked on exercises for months to stretch and get my body ready for the marathon of birth. I loved the idea of being so in control of the whole experience. We learned so much about the process of labor, what to expect, and how to work with my body to let it do what it was created to do. (Speaking of creation, I think the bradley method forgets the curse of eve, cause it sure was painful, but more on that later.) We wanted a completely natural birth with no medical interventions and no pain medication. This was the goal. I now realize that the goal actually was a healthy, alert, non-drugged baby-- but having a natural birth was a means to this end. I felt prepared for labor, but was nervous about relaxing, nervous about pushing, and nervous about Alan coaching. Ok, back to the story.
Saturday: I couldn't sleep Friday night at all-- maybe got 3 hours max. I kept thinking about baking things but we didn't have much in the pantry to bake. So once it wasn't too early to wake Alan up, we went to the grocery store and stocked up on baking supplies for at least 10 different recipes. Like I said, I had some spotting, but nothing unusual-- well nothing unusual until that afternoon. I started to have some bright red spotting and got nervous. After a call to my mom, I called the on call doctor at Christie clinic. She said it could be normal, but to watch for clotting and come in if I had any. I was so relieved! I hadn't had any clots.... until that is about 2 minutes after I hung up from the doctor. So we gathered all the bags, called my parents, and went to the hospital. We fully intended to come right back home. With the bradley method, you labor for a while at home and I hadn't had any contractions. So while we had all the stuff, we weren't really in the "we're having a baby!" mindset. We were so used to being pregnant that I figured I would still be pregnant in the morning.
At the hospital: When we got the hospital, it was a little before 7pm. It was perfect timing because our nurse partner, Kelsey, was getting to work right then and saw us in the lobby. She walked us up and got us into a triage room. They hooked me up to a monitor just to see what was going on, and then checked me. I was 3 cm and was about 75% effaced. I was expecting them to say "you're fine, he's ok, go home". But instead, they told me to walk around a bit and they would reassess in 2 hours. It was 8 pm when they said this. So Alan and I walked. I started having some contractions but they were not really painful. I would lean on Alan and then we would move on. They were odd as they lasted about 15-20 seconds but were about 50 seconds from the start of one to the start of the next one. After the 2 hours (and a lot of walking and bouncing on the birthing ball and watching some finding nemo on tv), they checked me again and hooked me up to the monitor. I was clearly contracting according to the monitor and was 5 cm and 100% effaced. I was thrilled as I hadn't really done any work, but also freaking out because it wasn't supposed to happen like this. I was supposed to be at home and start feeling some and then move into bed when it got to be too much and then seriously work for a while before coming to the hospital. So it didn't sink in right away that we were staying, and that I would be birthing our baby soon.
The work begins: I don't remember a lot about what happened when. Time was non-existent. But I do remember they needed to go through some papers (not a good time while I was trying to relax). Luckily it didn't take long. They insisted on a hep lock. My midwife said I didn't have to have anything, but as it was the weekend, there was a doctor on call. That's the one bad thing about Provena, no midwives on the weekends. I don't think I went too long before moving into the tub. I loved laboring in the bath! I really wouldn't call my labor painful while in the tub and might consider a waterbirth for the next one. There was just pressure, the same type of pressure and in the same area as menstrual cramps. But later these got more intense. So I won't be one of those people who say it's just like that. I got out after a while for them to check on Caleb to see how he was doing. I tried some other positions like on my hands and knees but HATED it. He needed to turn more though so I tried to do these positions at least a little. I went back in the tub and was doing pretty good.
Transition!: Once I hit 7.5 cm, it was getting much more difficult to relax. I don't know when it happened or how long it took to reach 10 cm. Alan said pushing took around 2 hours, (2:30- 4:30?) so it might have taken around 2 hours (12:30- 2:30?) to fully dilate. I wasn't expecting my body to take such a beating. I was shaking all over. I couldn't stop. I know I lost control a few times. I started moaning some but was usually still able to breath steadily and relax. There was one time when I just couldn't listed to Alan any more. He had done SUCH a great job of coaching me to relax. But I just couldn't do it. The nurse stepped right in, got in my face, and got me through it. I know there were 3 nurses in the room for a lot of the transition and pushing phases. They were amazing and so encouraging. I did hit the doubting signpost and told Alan I couldn't do it. He reminded me that this meant we were so close to pushing! He also reminded me of Jill (her story is awesome) :)
I never did ask for pain meds. It didn't even cross my mind. But I know I would have probably accepted them if anyone had offered. I kept asking them to check me at this point because I was in a lot of pain and knew once I started pushing, there would be a little release. Finally, the doctor checked me and gave the ok to push.
Pushing: I had been nervous all night about pushing. I didn't let anyone talk about him getting here because I was so scared about this part. But once I started pushing, all my reservations and nervousness and worries disappeared. I started off in the squatting position but put too much of the push in my thighs. I couldn't figure out how to support myself in a squat while relaxing everything but the pushing areas. We then tried the hands and knees position. This hurt more than anything and I quickly said this was not the position for me. My nurse could see I was having a hard time figuring out a good pushing position. She suggested a more traditional position and I was open to anything at this point. I ended up in a kind of sit squat. Alan had one leg, my mom had the other and I would do almost a sit up of sorts or a crunch with each push and they would just hold my legs back. Looking back, I think it would have gone a little better if they would have pushed my knees back more towards my chest. Alan said he tried to do this but to coordinate it wasn't working and he didn't want me lopsided. My contractions slowed down for some reason, which really was no fun. I needed to push, I had the urge the entire time and had to be put on a monitor just to help me figure out when to push. But waiting 2-3 minutes between pushes was torture. I was out of it. I don't remember what people said or did, I was focused. The pain of him moving down was aweful. Each push felt like I was trying to poo out a watermelon. It was like "push as hard as I can to get it over" but also, "it hurts more than anything I've ever felt!" I have to pause here and say I don't know how women who have an epidural do it. I had to have the nurse put her fingers where I was supposed to focus the push. I wouldn't have been able to push effectively without feeling what I was doing.
It seemed like under 30 min to me but I pushed for about 2 hours. They broke my water after some pushing, not sure how long, as things weren't really progressing. The end was long to me as I kept thinking "this is the last push!" and then it wasn't. The doctor was called in eventually and my heart leaped. Sadly I think I was more excited to be done with it all than to actually see my baby. But I pushed, I pushed so hard and long and finally after his head kept peaking out and going away, his head finally was born. One more push on that same contraction and he was here!
He's here!: They put Caleb right on me. I was completely exhausted and didn't really know what to say or do. I looked at him but don't really remember what all happened. I remember Alan cutting the cord and I said they could take Caleb to get cleaned up. I was getting stitched up. I guess I had some tearing. I didn't feel it and they didn't tell me if it was bad. Honestly I didn't want to know. It was kind of a blur. All I could think of was how tired I was. I was running on 3 hours sleep from the night before and had now missed another night's sleep. I wish I would have been more awake to enjoy those first few hours. But it was worth it. I did it. He was so awake and bright eyed and alert. I gave him that. I was and am so proud of myself for doing this, so proud of Alan-- I couldn't have done it without him, and while my first reaction was "never again", I know I could do this again for our future children.
Leading up to the day: In case you didn't know, our little guy was a week late. I had a doctor's appointment at 40 weeks 5 days-- it was Friday, September 23. I hadn't ever been checked to see if I was dilated at all or effaced... we had read a lot about getting checked, that it was pretty pointless as it didn't tell you anything about when labor would actually begin, so this was the first time. It was pretty painful and I wasn't prepared for the exam to hurt so much. I was 2 1/2 cm dilated and about 50% effaced. Caleb was doing great with normal heart rate and "breathing" and had plenty of fluid. So we got the OK for him to stay in there till the next week. My midwife said I might have some spotting and this was normal. So we went home. Not really any contractions at this point (a few in the evenings that always went away). I did have some spotting but all seemed normal. We were happy that he was OK, but at the same time, we were ready for him to arrive and almost wished they would "force" us to do something to make things move more quickly. Since we knew induction can lead to some things that we didn't want, we decided to wait on his timing.
Our "classes": Let me pause and tell you about our preparation for labor/birth. Alan and I read The Husband Coached Childbirth and Natural Childbirth: The Bradley Way. We read them out loud, cover to cover. We liked the latter one better as it was easier to read, but both were great. We weren't able to attend any Bradley classes but worked together on relaxation exercises, breathing, positioning... I worked on exercises for months to stretch and get my body ready for the marathon of birth. I loved the idea of being so in control of the whole experience. We learned so much about the process of labor, what to expect, and how to work with my body to let it do what it was created to do. (Speaking of creation, I think the bradley method forgets the curse of eve, cause it sure was painful, but more on that later.) We wanted a completely natural birth with no medical interventions and no pain medication. This was the goal. I now realize that the goal actually was a healthy, alert, non-drugged baby-- but having a natural birth was a means to this end. I felt prepared for labor, but was nervous about relaxing, nervous about pushing, and nervous about Alan coaching. Ok, back to the story.
Saturday: I couldn't sleep Friday night at all-- maybe got 3 hours max. I kept thinking about baking things but we didn't have much in the pantry to bake. So once it wasn't too early to wake Alan up, we went to the grocery store and stocked up on baking supplies for at least 10 different recipes. Like I said, I had some spotting, but nothing unusual-- well nothing unusual until that afternoon. I started to have some bright red spotting and got nervous. After a call to my mom, I called the on call doctor at Christie clinic. She said it could be normal, but to watch for clotting and come in if I had any. I was so relieved! I hadn't had any clots.... until that is about 2 minutes after I hung up from the doctor. So we gathered all the bags, called my parents, and went to the hospital. We fully intended to come right back home. With the bradley method, you labor for a while at home and I hadn't had any contractions. So while we had all the stuff, we weren't really in the "we're having a baby!" mindset. We were so used to being pregnant that I figured I would still be pregnant in the morning.
At the hospital: When we got the hospital, it was a little before 7pm. It was perfect timing because our nurse partner, Kelsey, was getting to work right then and saw us in the lobby. She walked us up and got us into a triage room. They hooked me up to a monitor just to see what was going on, and then checked me. I was 3 cm and was about 75% effaced. I was expecting them to say "you're fine, he's ok, go home". But instead, they told me to walk around a bit and they would reassess in 2 hours. It was 8 pm when they said this. So Alan and I walked. I started having some contractions but they were not really painful. I would lean on Alan and then we would move on. They were odd as they lasted about 15-20 seconds but were about 50 seconds from the start of one to the start of the next one. After the 2 hours (and a lot of walking and bouncing on the birthing ball and watching some finding nemo on tv), they checked me again and hooked me up to the monitor. I was clearly contracting according to the monitor and was 5 cm and 100% effaced. I was thrilled as I hadn't really done any work, but also freaking out because it wasn't supposed to happen like this. I was supposed to be at home and start feeling some and then move into bed when it got to be too much and then seriously work for a while before coming to the hospital. So it didn't sink in right away that we were staying, and that I would be birthing our baby soon.
The work begins: I don't remember a lot about what happened when. Time was non-existent. But I do remember they needed to go through some papers (not a good time while I was trying to relax). Luckily it didn't take long. They insisted on a hep lock. My midwife said I didn't have to have anything, but as it was the weekend, there was a doctor on call. That's the one bad thing about Provena, no midwives on the weekends. I don't think I went too long before moving into the tub. I loved laboring in the bath! I really wouldn't call my labor painful while in the tub and might consider a waterbirth for the next one. There was just pressure, the same type of pressure and in the same area as menstrual cramps. But later these got more intense. So I won't be one of those people who say it's just like that. I got out after a while for them to check on Caleb to see how he was doing. I tried some other positions like on my hands and knees but HATED it. He needed to turn more though so I tried to do these positions at least a little. I went back in the tub and was doing pretty good.
Transition!: Once I hit 7.5 cm, it was getting much more difficult to relax. I don't know when it happened or how long it took to reach 10 cm. Alan said pushing took around 2 hours, (2:30- 4:30?) so it might have taken around 2 hours (12:30- 2:30?) to fully dilate. I wasn't expecting my body to take such a beating. I was shaking all over. I couldn't stop. I know I lost control a few times. I started moaning some but was usually still able to breath steadily and relax. There was one time when I just couldn't listed to Alan any more. He had done SUCH a great job of coaching me to relax. But I just couldn't do it. The nurse stepped right in, got in my face, and got me through it. I know there were 3 nurses in the room for a lot of the transition and pushing phases. They were amazing and so encouraging. I did hit the doubting signpost and told Alan I couldn't do it. He reminded me that this meant we were so close to pushing! He also reminded me of Jill (her story is awesome) :)
I never did ask for pain meds. It didn't even cross my mind. But I know I would have probably accepted them if anyone had offered. I kept asking them to check me at this point because I was in a lot of pain and knew once I started pushing, there would be a little release. Finally, the doctor checked me and gave the ok to push.
Pushing: I had been nervous all night about pushing. I didn't let anyone talk about him getting here because I was so scared about this part. But once I started pushing, all my reservations and nervousness and worries disappeared. I started off in the squatting position but put too much of the push in my thighs. I couldn't figure out how to support myself in a squat while relaxing everything but the pushing areas. We then tried the hands and knees position. This hurt more than anything and I quickly said this was not the position for me. My nurse could see I was having a hard time figuring out a good pushing position. She suggested a more traditional position and I was open to anything at this point. I ended up in a kind of sit squat. Alan had one leg, my mom had the other and I would do almost a sit up of sorts or a crunch with each push and they would just hold my legs back. Looking back, I think it would have gone a little better if they would have pushed my knees back more towards my chest. Alan said he tried to do this but to coordinate it wasn't working and he didn't want me lopsided. My contractions slowed down for some reason, which really was no fun. I needed to push, I had the urge the entire time and had to be put on a monitor just to help me figure out when to push. But waiting 2-3 minutes between pushes was torture. I was out of it. I don't remember what people said or did, I was focused. The pain of him moving down was aweful. Each push felt like I was trying to poo out a watermelon. It was like "push as hard as I can to get it over" but also, "it hurts more than anything I've ever felt!" I have to pause here and say I don't know how women who have an epidural do it. I had to have the nurse put her fingers where I was supposed to focus the push. I wouldn't have been able to push effectively without feeling what I was doing.
It seemed like under 30 min to me but I pushed for about 2 hours. They broke my water after some pushing, not sure how long, as things weren't really progressing. The end was long to me as I kept thinking "this is the last push!" and then it wasn't. The doctor was called in eventually and my heart leaped. Sadly I think I was more excited to be done with it all than to actually see my baby. But I pushed, I pushed so hard and long and finally after his head kept peaking out and going away, his head finally was born. One more push on that same contraction and he was here!
He's here!: They put Caleb right on me. I was completely exhausted and didn't really know what to say or do. I looked at him but don't really remember what all happened. I remember Alan cutting the cord and I said they could take Caleb to get cleaned up. I was getting stitched up. I guess I had some tearing. I didn't feel it and they didn't tell me if it was bad. Honestly I didn't want to know. It was kind of a blur. All I could think of was how tired I was. I was running on 3 hours sleep from the night before and had now missed another night's sleep. I wish I would have been more awake to enjoy those first few hours. But it was worth it. I did it. He was so awake and bright eyed and alert. I gave him that. I was and am so proud of myself for doing this, so proud of Alan-- I couldn't have done it without him, and while my first reaction was "never again", I know I could do this again for our future children.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
I've decided to blog
Well, I've officially decided to start a blog. I have so much fun reading everyone else's and with so much time just sitting with Caleb, I thought why not. So I guess this will be a little bit of everything-- stories from life as a new mom, stories from my marriage with my amazing husband, and just stuff about life and how we're living it. We really want to be a family fully devoted and set apart for God. In addition to this, and to go alongside of this as God is a part of every aspect of our lives, we want to be frugal people-- being wise with what we have, and we want to be as green as possible-- choosing natural and organic and earth friendly etc... So here are the stories how all this comes together. Here is a glimpse into our life.
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